Soothe the Savage Beast

I seriously think that I was not meant to share space with people. Right at the moment, we’ve got 4 people jammed into desks in a space probably about 12’ x 24’. If one more person has a yogurt and makes that plastic-y scrapey noise, I’m going to lose my shit and jump out the window. And for fuck’s sake, could that woman take it easy on the keyboard while she’s IM’ing her friends? At least she only works in this space part time.

Really, I like most of my tiny space compadres. Scrapey yogurt sounds aside, they’re very quiet and mellow and pleasant. And I take my revenge with carrost and apples.

Okay, so it’s not me. It’s other people.

Would it be okay to tape the typing woman’s hands to her chair and make her send thought beams into the computer?

She is pretty cute. Maybe tying her to the chair isn’t such a bad idea after all.