All the Excitement

I am an aunt in triplicate now! My friend Grace gave birth to two adorable tiny perfect girls in the wee hours of Saturday morning. I saw them Saturday afternoon in their incubators, and they broke my heart with their smallness and vastness. All those moments ahead of them, stretching far past the end of my short life. They had long long fingers, long thin legs. Definitely their parents' children. The Grs will be amazing parents and I'm so lucky to be around to watch it all happen and help out when I can.

Saturday night was exciting in a very different, though daft, way. What good is thousands of dollars spent on post-secondary education if you don't have the common sense to unplug the damn blender before clearing the cookie dough off the blades? Not much fucking good when you're chickening around your kitchen looking for something clean with which to staunch the blood. So much blood. I sucked it up and toughed it out without crying until I realized the only being around to admire my stiff upper lip was my cat. So I burst into tears and called my mommy.*

I had initially called Telehealth Ontario, but the line was busy and an automated voice cheerily told me that if I cared to leave a message they'd get back to me within an hour and a half. Well, fuck. In an hour and a half I'd'a been either fine or dead from blood loss.

In the end it was fine, though it's taken me a vazillion years to type this, my left index finger sticking straight up into the air.


*Okay, so the main reason I called my mom is that she's a nurse. She asked some very nurse-y smart questions and gave me some much needed sympathy, even in the face of my unmitigated stupidity. Her expert opinion was that I wasn't going to die of blood loss.