Crabbity

I don't really have any good reason to be crabby, but there it is, I am. A few things maybe, but only stupid things.

1) I was hoping to take my compost for a walk tonight. Right now, I have more things garbage than edible in my fridge. Not composting is awful. When I'm composting, I put a not-even-full grocery bag of garbage out per week. When I am not composting, it doubles my output. No good. But what is also no good is a fridge full of kitchen scraps because it's too damn cold/you're too damn lazy to walk the 5 minutes to the organic community garden that runs a proper compost pile. Maybe by tomorrow evening it won't feel like the wind is trying to give me a facelift.

2) My glasses weren't ready today. I won't have time to pick them up until Saturday. Unless I skip yoga. And since yoga is also a part of the Foxification Project*, I am not skipping yoga.

3) My new hairdo doesn't really work with turtlenecks. I love turtlenecks. I love my new hairdo. It's a conundrum.

4) I got a good night's sleep last night, but not enough to make up for the lousy sleeps the couple nights before.

5) The sad is a low level ache. Considering it's only been six weeks, I think I'm actually doing okay. I did have a complete meltdown at dinner on Sunday, though it wasn't entirely breakup related. Shelley and I were talking and eating, normal as can be, when I had that feeling where I thought I was either going to throw up or bawl. Instead I froze, said "I am so, so sad" and sat, staring, my fork and knife hovering over the plate, until Shelley picked me up out of my chair and hugged me tight while I tried not to bawl. I am glad that I am not feeling that sad right now, but I am also tired of the fine sandpaper sad that seems to rub me the wrong way no matter how I move or where I land.


*That would be the FP in its broader "if you take care of yourself you're less likely to feel like shit" context. Kale, lemon juice, root vegetables, garlic and tofu are also integral to this part of the FP. Yoga and balanced meals are good for both your outsides and insides, just different types of insides.