Friday, November 02, 2007

My Underpants

Speaking of filing systems, this one almost made it into the Seven Random Facts About Me post.

For a person with one ass, I have very many pairs of underpants. This probably stems from the fact that what underpants I'm wearing on any given day has a bigger impact on my mood than they probably should. But how nice is it to go for a pee in the middle of a frustrating day and see polka dots! Secret polka dots!

It is very nice, I can tell you.

But my underpants hardly ever wear out, so I just keep adding to the piles. Yes, piles. Because of volume, I have had to develop a classification system to keep my underpants under control.

The A List Panties* (17 pairs) are the every day nice panties: they are cotton, brightly coloured, and often have some silkscreening or pattern on them. I have a very comfortable brown pair with green and orange argyle that I don't wear very often because they only go with one of my shirts, but leave on the top of the pile because they make me happy. The fuscia Museum of Sex underpants are in pretty high rotation.

B List Panties (14 pairs) are those that once used to reside on the A List, but have been demoted because they're maybe a style I don't like so much anymore, or maybe they're stretched out a little but are still wearable, or because maybe I bled on them and it seems wise to keep some underpants around for the sole purpose of not worrying about bleeding on them.

A List and B List live in my top drawer, fitted to each other tête-bêche.

The Fancies (13 pairs) are lacy, gauzy, sparkly or some combination thereof. This is where the thongs live, even if they're cotton. They take up a smallish space in the drawer with the rest of my other Fancy Bits, which over the years have multiplied like crazy lace rabbits into nearly a drawerful of slippery bits that I have to rearrange every month because they skoozle all over every time I open the drawer to get something practical, like tights, and get tangled up in each other.

It does not help that frankly, for all the fancies I have, I really I don't wear these things all that much. Not as much as I ought, really, since I have both the lacy bits and an appreciative audience.






*Sorry Chris, I was trying to avoid that, I really was.

7 comments:

zoom said...

**A List and B List live in my top drawer, fitted to each other recto verso**

Might there be a photograph or illustration of this, for those of us whose latin is a bit fuzzy?

Tiana said...

"I have a very comfortable brown pair with green and orange argyle"

I think I have the same ones!

"maybe I bled on them and it seems wise to keep some underpants around for the sole purpose of not worrying about bleeding on them."

I keep a few of these two.

I think I mentally organize in this way, but don't have enough space (or resolve) to do it physically.

Asteroidea Press said...

In honour of this post, I actually wore those today. I quite enjoy them.

Zoom, recto verso was totally the wrong term. I was addled. Recto verso is a printing term that means print on both sides of the page. Tête-bêche is also a book term, but it means head-to-tail, what you see in a lot of bilingual books. Thanks for pushing me to look into that!

Aggie said...

This posting made me do an audit of my own panty stash. Lots on B - list, but clearly I need to get out to store and restock the A-list. Some B-listers were formerly solid A-listers, but no longer. Thanks for this.

Psychic Librarian said...

Thank you for sharing...

For years I went without panties... now that I'm of "wise woman" age, I wear mostly Fancies.

Unlike with the rest of my clothes, they're not organized by colour, style or other. They're all tossed together in a drawer in a big tangle of colours, patterns and textures.

Evey said...

I approve of the use of silly words in this post. My favourite was "skoozle".
My underwear drawer has the opposite problem. I can never find any in the morning. Often their hiding underneath the long underwear I can't keep anywhere else or they've migrated to the back where all the pairs I don't wear get shoved. The problem probably stems from the fact that I don't do my own laundry, but I don't see myself changing that anytime soon (It's like magic! The clothes go in the hamper and, a few days later, they come back clean! I love the Laundry fairy.)

Anonymous said...

Thanks for thinking of me, but don't worry about the p-word. My eyes only burned for a second. ~CB.