Tell Me Your Problems
Jennifer and I have started working on the next edition of the manners zine, which is going to be about the honeymoon period.
This one is proving a wee bit harder, since we're both very happy with our respective paramours, who are both astonishingly polite.
Let that be a lesson. If you seem to keep dating Very Rude People, write a zine about how to be polite. This will be a sign to the universe that you are really truly ready to stop dating Very Rude People. And you can make sure that anyone you date has first read the zine.
Jennifer and I have a few points jotted down, but dear readers, we would like your help. Send us your honeymoon horror stories. Has anything ever definitively killed the honeymoon for you? What do you know now that you wish you'd known then? Have you ever thought "Jesus, I'm not sure what to do in this situation. I sure wish there were two very strict and polite ladies who had written a zine telling me how to handle this."
Tell us what you want to know and, as always, we will aim to please.
**
The other great thing that happens when you write about manners is that people will send you reviews of dating tips from dinosaurs.
Speaking of Jeremy M-C, who sent me the above link, he also wrote what I think was the funniest redux of our first manners zine. I have a feeling it's maybe supposed to be snarky, but I also think he captures the essence of our project quite well. (Please note that the article is by Matthew Firth and is not even a little snarky. Jeremy's comment is second from the top.)
8 comments:
I'll definitely be able to help you out with this one. One deal-breaker for me was a young man I was dating who lovely and polite to me, but never said thank you to service people - waiters, cashiers, etc... It was appalling. I have more, should I keep going?
Yes, please! Open the floodgates!
My pal Austen made this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fv7OLdH4Jag
Enjoy.
I did. Enjoy.
But egads, I think that man is too far gone for our zine.
OK. Here is one little honeymoon horror story of mine, and one I heard from an acquaintance:
1) paramour gives Aggie a lovely book. Very nice choice. Books are good. Paramour writes mushy inscription in book. How sweet, right? Paramour then proceeds to COPY the mushy inscription into his journal. Holy wanker alert!!
2) my acquaintance just LOVES that her paramour so politically involved, and protesting everything from homelessness to people who eat egg yolks. The dealbreaker for her, however, occurs when her paramour pulls a "coitus interruptus" (is this the right term?) in the middle of the night to go bail out his ex who has been arrested for punching a police officer in the face.
Is this the kind of stuff you are looking for?
exactly!
My most definitive The Honeymoon's Over moment: I got home one Saturday afternoon and found a 6-minute phone message from paramour. It was an accidental message that occured when the crack-addicted prostitute he was with sat on his cell phone's redial button.
How about this scenario:
Heterosexual, non-polyamorous couple; she has an out-of-town male guest visiting who will be staying in her bachelor apartment with her for the weekend, sharing the same bed. "It will be purely platonic," she says.
"But does he have the hots for you?"
"He used to, but not any more."
"How about you stay with me at my apartment and let him stay alone at your place."
"Oh, I couldn't do that!"
Post a Comment