Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Brass Tacks

I thought my head was going to explode earlier this week. For the second weekend in a row, I didn't get any errands done. That's not okay in my world. I realize that's probably pretty inflexible and anal, but you know, I'm okay with that.

This week, I learned that if I do not grocery shop on saturday or sunday, I spend too much time worrying about when it is going to get done. And eating food that is not kale and rice. I need to eat a lot of kale and rice to feel like the world is an okay place. Even when it's the middle of winter and the tiniest bunch of kale ever is three dollars.

For months I've been saying that my life is too busy and too busy and poor me and why am I so tired, etc. etc. And then taking on a new project.

This week, I said no. There were a couple of lavalife boys I was talking to and I told them I was too busy to talk to them. I emailed the OKCupid boy and told him I was too busy to go on a date with him. I emailed M. Christian and told him I was too busy to write custom erotica. I decided not to go to disco bingo.

I stopped waking up in the morning with a jaw sore from grinding.

These are my brass tacks: drinking/eating/hanging out with my friends, yoga, running, playing the bass, going to shows, blogging, email.

Dates are definitely on that list. Just not dates because someone sent me a good craft pattern. Even not dates with boys who send me really good-weird emails about lost limbs and pantries and missing instincts. That guy was in the running for sure. But he is not a brass tack.

Even with the cuts, that's a lot of tacks. But when I get to the end of my life, will I be sorry that I did interesting things and knew wonderful people? Seems unlikely. I can sleep then.

*Well, and class, which is taking a lot of my time and I don't love it. But it feels like the right thing to do, so I do it.

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