Monday, November 20, 2006

Hidden Danger

It started with the girl in Dundonald park. She was 19, maybe 20, a hip hop girl with long blond hair. Holding the hand of what was maybe another young girl coming along the path parallel to Somerset. I checked them - Huh. Dykes? - from about 20 feet away and didn't think much about it. Kept walking on the diagonal path from Somerset/Bay to MacLaren/Lyon.

I'd felt a little self-conscious as I was leaving the house. I was in full tweed: hat pulled down low, the coa. Had on my new favourite argyle knee socks with my black boots. I'd turned up the cuffs of my jeans so you could see the argyle, because I enjoyed the splash of colour and all those patterns together. And then I picked up my Scottish Granny bright red and green plastic plaid shopping bag. I was quite a sight.

Just before I leave the house, every time, I check a full length mirror to ensure that I'm presentable. The definition of presentable changes from day to day. Hour to hour, even.

Yesterday, I was on the edge. I had a lot going on, what with two different kinds of tweed, pink and red argyle and a christmas colour bag.

A moment's pause. Fuck it, I thought. I'm just going grocery shopping.

As I'm walking my diagonal way through Dundonald, I notice that the blond girl is staring at me. Hard. Not like she's an acquaintance trying to figure out if she knows me. Mean. I stare back. Still staring at me, she says to her boy/girl/friend "What is that? What is that!" She turns the volume up. "Are you even human? You're not human." she yells.

I stop stock still. Am openly open-mouthed staring at her. She does a quick bounce forward and back on her toes, like she's going to use her tiny physical presence to intimidate me from 15 feet away. "What?! What!" She's still yelling.

Now the smart thing would have been to just turn and walk away. Instead, I do what could have been a stupid thing. "What in the fuck was that?" I yell too.

She ignored me. Perhaps I was too far from human to deign to speak to? Perhaps she wasn't actually rarin' for a fight, but just wanted to make someone feel shitty?

I shook my head and went on my much-less-merrier way. I was shaken. Halfway down my diagonal path I stopped and turned down the cuffs of my pants so the argyle was hidden.


Anonymous said...

the same kind of thing happened to me there once, except I ended up getting in a shoving match with some guy. ah Dundonald park, good times.


Anonymous said...


Now see, this is where Psycho Chick in Park and I differ. To me, your outfit sounds adorable and totally chic. To her, it's alien.

Some people are assholes, and some people are assholes without a fashion sense. Both categories suck. Keep rocking the argyle!

minxer said...

Well I think your outfit sounds adorable.

zoom! said...

Consider the source: she sounds like a bully out looking for victims. But I think I know how you felt - there's nothing like an attack by an obnoxious stranger to ruin a perfectly good walk.

Hathor & à travers said...

i wonder what exactly bothers people so much about difference and uniqueness.. is it a fear that it will take over? it's not like you asked her to kneel before your argyle goddessness!...
so... wtf?

ps. (and this is SO un-pc and culturally relative but...) real (north american) lesbians like argyle.. even secretly!

hehe. i've always wanted to say that.

Asteroidea Press said...

And I got off light. Stephanie told me that someone started spewing racial epithets at the Acorn the day before the "human" incident. Rolf confirmed. Fucked up.