All Alone

I am inexplicably sad. Teary even. I don’t really know why.

My mom left today. We had a nice time together.

My ex and I have been communicating again. Pleasant emails. He’s taking those couches back. It makes me glad that they’re going back where they belong.

It’s much easier to be bitter than to miss him; it’s much easier to miss him than to be sad. We lost something - fuck, we killed something - and I still feel like that blissful, hopeful part of me is broken.

Someone asked me a couple of posts ago (in a comment) whether Shelley had meant I was a dude or a dud about relationships.

I guess that falls into the “it’s only funny cause it’s true” category.

Well. I’m going to go pour myself a Laphroiag and staple me some zines. And try to enjoy the stillness and solitude of my empty apartment. And not spend the rest of the evening crying into my booze. It's really too good for that.