Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Single State

I love being single. This may not be readily apparent from the streams of break up sadness I've been letting flow here, but it's true nonetheless. It's a state that, quite frankly, suits me much more than being part of a couple.

Though of course, if I ever let someone love me like that again, I will swear up and down I never wrote that.

I do love being part of a couple. I like the meshing of habits; of bodies; of humour and language. The inside jokes and being absolutely special to someone. I like having all those kinds of connections with one person. I like the warmth.

But I also love being by myself. One heck of a whole lot. I love puttering and organizing and deciding how my week is going to look without having to worry about someone else's schedule or desires. I like the simple routines that keep me anchored safely in my life and my body. If you're by yourself, you're never waiting.

It was a hard day today, a lot of small spurts of tears. But no matter, it's ending well. I washed my sheets, and am stretched out now between them, my big wool socks just starting to warm my feet. I have a huge stack of books on my bedside table. I just called Freya, who is now nosing the computer and purring louder than jesus. I have a good life, myself at the centre.

4 comments:

XUP said...

It took me a long time and a lot of misery to figure out that I'm 100% happier as a single person. There is so much I want to do for and by myself and for and with friends and family that I don't want to be bound to some else's life full-time.

Ariel said...

How are you sleeping in your sheets if you just washed them. Did you go to a laundromat or dry them in the oven? Inquiring blog readers want to know, oh dryerless one ...

Susannah said...

Yes.

Asteroidea Press said...

I did indeed go to the laundromat! Though the though of putting them in the oven is pretty funny.

XUP and Susannah: Absolutely.