Oh no, please, you go.

My dears, it feels like I haven't typed you in ages. You must know how very much I missed you and I offer my abject apologies.

There has been very much going on, Chez Butch. First, of course, was Edmonton and the conference. About that I can't really say much except that it is over and I left Edmonton early to come home and have a birthday dinner with my paramour. We had a lovely dinner at the Usual Spot, which was tasty, but we were not very lively.

By the time we got there, around 8:30, there were two tables left. One was by the bathroom and I've never really liked that one. Too much chance for being knocked by bags and or elbows as people pass by. The other one was at the end of a banquette, beside a group of about 5 friends who were taking up three tables and had obviously colonized another one that could hold three or 4 more at their other end.

Walking up to the empty and uncolonized table, I noticed that the purse of the woman on the end was encroaching into the spot where I wanted to put my ass. I looked up, and she was looking with trepidation at me and my purposeful stride towards the table.

When I stopped short, Eric bumped gently into my back.

"Oh, uh," she said. "We're waiting for more people."

I looked pointedly at the empty table on the other side of their group. I checked the table by the bathroom. Not empty. I waved at Susan, just sitting down. I looked back at the cushy seat and thought about how sore my feet were. I saw a ghostly megan being stitched across it to the exact width of my ass. My eyes got steely.

"Yeeeah. Yeah. Ummm. There're gonna be twelve of us. We know for sure that two more people are coming, and the rest are maybes. But we kinda need... They should be here soon."

I raised my eyebrows.

Now, she didn't know that I'd just busted my ass in customer service for three days, she didn't know I'd woken up before 6 o'clock in the am for several days running, she didn't know I'd spent several hours on an airplane getting motion sick because I was so bored I decided that nausea from reading was better than wanting to pull my hair out strand by strand, she didn't know that the only thing holding my poor sick Eric up was his spine of sweetness. She didn't know how fucking badly I wanted just one beer.

I knew, however, that her group was almost finished eating so must have been holding those tables for a while, and moreover that they holding those tables for people who may or may not show up. I knew that they were drinking beer in what seemed like a sea of empty tables.

"Well," I said. "We're here now."

She was surprised. Decided to play on my sympathies. "It's his birthday!" she said brightly.

Don't you even, motherfucker. "Hey! Mine too!"

We were at a standstill. Simultaneously, we both decided to back down.

"Oh! Oh, okay. Umm, well, we can just squish in down there. You know, if everyone comes."

"Oh, no, no worries. We'll just ah. We'll. We can. Stand over there and wait until." I turned to Eric. "Uh, do you want to w--"

"Oh, no no no. Please, take it."

"Are you sure? Really? We can wait." This is what happens when I feel pushy. I feel like an ass about one second after and then guilty for getting what I was being pushy about.

"No, please. It really, no."

Had the server not intervened, this could have gone on for quite some time. But instead "Hey, Megan, how 'bout you take this spot, and then if something else comes up, we'll move you so the seat is free again?"

I probably shouldn't have been standing with my back to her for so long. She could have gotten me into beer position much sooner.

The rest of my birthday was quite nice too, and not nearly as awkward. Eric and Shelley threw me a party on Saturday, which was the first party anyone had thrown for me since I was a kid. There was beer to drink and beer with a bow on top and there were cupcakes and good music and really nice people. I got very many thoughtful presents and wore a fancy outfit that Tracie said was very stylish.

There's very much more to write about this past weekend, but I've been conscious lately about how long my posts get and that most of you probably don't have the time to read such long posts.

So stay tuned and hopefully I'll get a chance to write about the reading last Sunday and MY NEW FISH.