Delicate Flower
When it comes to food at my work, I’m the office crank. I don’t eat wheat and I don’t eat dairy, and most of what my co-workers eat is comprised of at least one, if not both, of those things. They’re very nice about about my predilections, my co-workers.
A few weeks before we left, the conference manager asked me if there was anything she could do for me. I asked her if she knew if there was going to be a fridge in our office. She didn’t know, but she would ask. “All I need,” I said, “is a place to put a carton of soy milk and some granola. Maybe some nuts and fruit. A bar fridge would solve all my problems.”
She came back a few days later. "We got your fridge!" She was triumphant.
This is what was delivered. 
Mortified would not be too strong a word for what I felt.
If you look to the right, you can see that I have placed all my purchased items in the frigo: soy milk, granola, larabar, almonds. Most of them don’t really belong in the fridge, I know that, but when I placed one item on each shelf, at least half of the shelves were taken. I then took the juice provided by the conference and spread it out over the other half. It mollified me somewhat, but I still felt like an ass. A delicate flower asshole.
5 comments:
Man, YOU were mortified? Think how Coke would feel if they knew what their fridge/billboard was being used for!
This is hilarious. I am a total basket case if I don't have access to snacks when I need them. Caitlyn has taken to checking with me before every excursion ("honey, did you bring a granola bar?).
I know how it is about eating. Also, your deliberate placement of the juices is a nice touch.
That's what purses are for. Snacks. And juice placement. No, wait. That's giant coke fridges.
That is so funny. Good for you! And you're nowhere near being an a-hole for that. I think that's brilliant.
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