Thursday, October 04, 2007

Delicate Flower

When it comes to food at my work, I’m the office crank. I don’t eat wheat and I don’t eat dairy, and most of what my co-workers eat is comprised of at least one, if not both, of those things. They’re very nice about about my predilections, my co-workers.

A few weeks before we left, the conference manager asked me if there was anything she could do for me. I asked her if she knew if there was going to be a fridge in our office. She didn’t know, but she would ask. “All I need,” I said, “is a place to put a carton of soy milk and some granola. Maybe some nuts and fruit. A bar fridge would solve all my problems.”

She came back a few days later. "We got your fridge!" She was triumphant.

This is what was delivered.


Mortified would not be too strong a word for what I felt.

If you look to the right, you can see that I have placed all my purchased items in the frigo: soy milk, granola, larabar, almonds. Most of them don’t really belong in the fridge, I know that, but when I placed one item on each shelf, at least half of the shelves were taken. I then took the juice provided by the conference and spread it out over the other half. It mollified me somewhat, but I still felt like an ass. A delicate flower asshole.

5 comments:

URBAN PEDESTRIAN said...

Man, YOU were mortified? Think how Coke would feel if they knew what their fridge/billboard was being used for!

Ariel said...

This is hilarious. I am a total basket case if I don't have access to snacks when I need them. Caitlyn has taken to checking with me before every excursion ("honey, did you bring a granola bar?).

madeleine said...

I know how it is about eating. Also, your deliberate placement of the juices is a nice touch.

Asteroidea Press said...

That's what purses are for. Snacks. And juice placement. No, wait. That's giant coke fridges.

Jamine said...

That is so funny. Good for you! And you're nowhere near being an a-hole for that. I think that's brilliant.