Tuesday, September 04, 2007

If Only I'd Known

In a few days I'm giving a workshop about healthy sexuality to a group of youth. I've never done a workshop just for youth before, and truth be told, I'm a little nervous about it.

Partially, I remember what a tough crowd I was when I was 16 or 17.

Partially, it feels really important, like here's my chance to make it up to myself as a teenager.

What do I wish I'd known when I was 16?


  • That some women's bodies are hard-wired.
  • That it's okay if it takes you years to understand your body well enough to come.
  • That you can stop worrying and enjoy yourself along the way.
  • That if you know you are in love with someone at 15, you should do whatever you want with them.
  • That you don't have to be in love with someone to fuck. You can love them for the fuck and think of them fondly but distantly afterwards and it does not make you a bad person.
  • You shouldn't feel guilty.
  • That when people, anyone, tries to make you ashamed of what or who you want, you need to think "fuck all y'all."
  • That making out is one of the best parts.


Anything to add? Straight, queer, trans, cis? You know you do. C'mon.

5 comments:

Patti said...

It's great to know we live in a place that will invite this kind of presentation to be given to young people. We're a healthier society for it. Looking forward to reading about how it went when you're done.

a. and j. said...

What I wish I would have known when I was 16:

* Dating Etiquette! No one teaches you about dating. You learn about female organs in class, but nothing about how to strike up a conversation with the opposite sex (other than spit balls of course), for men being courteous and opening doors for women and things like how to get out of an awful blind date.

* That you can tell alot from a first kiss.

* Women should carry condoms too. That way there are no excuses.

* Get the pill or some method of birth control. Do not get caught.

Those are just a couple of things that I could think of.

Amanda said...

that it's ok if you don't orgasm like a porn star. that masturbation is great. don't let anyone tell you you should be having sex by x age. it's up to you. that you need someone to talk to about sex: a close friend who is not an idiot, a sibling or if you're lucky a family member who won't judge you.

on that note, it is very very important for young people to know and understand about sex from as early as they start to show a curiosity about it. so if the teens can be buddies to their younger siblings that is also great.

i'd also recommend the little black book for girlz, a book written for and in consultation with teen girls. go to bookninja.com to the magazine and scroll down to
Kathryn Kuitenbrouwer interviews David Wichman in Sex and the Real Girl (Audio)
January 15, 2007

hope this helps. i look forward to hearing about your talk. it's so great that you are giving it, but it must be somewhat nerve wracking. they'll think you're cool though, or whatever it is the young say now ;)

zoom said...

That you can't genuinely communicate about the important sex stuff until you choose - and feel comfortable with - your basic sexual vocabulary. You can't even ask questions without that.

Amanda said...

i found this last comment made by Zoom to be very astute. it's wise advice for everyone.