Monday, May 21, 2007

I'll Take the Wire Out When I'm Feeling Brave

I must be getting blogging syndrome, since I have been feeling a little bit guilty about not blogging much lately. I've missed it, I must say.

The bastard internet is finally working. I am currently logged on to the virtual world from my fancy new computer. THROUGH MY WIRELESS CONNECTION! Anyone who has asked me how I was doing this past week will understand the import of that answer.

It was a balls up almost like the Goob balls up, except this one didn't involve possibly pre-cancerous cells on my cervix. So just as frustrating, but not as upsetting.

See, I switched from rogers cable to National Capital Freenet DSL. I bought a wireless router, so my fabulous new neighbour and I could use the same connection. At the urging of NCF no less. So that makes me like them. They're local, they're really nice, and they're non-profit.

Tip: Do not change your ISP at the same time you buy a new computer running on a new OS that many knowledgeable people seem to dislike. Because you will not know whether it is the bastard internet, the bastard modem or the bastard OS that is causing you to groan and wish that you were back in the days when you swore a lot and threw things when you got frustrated. Being a grown up bites my ass.

Well, except when someone's actually biting my ass. And then I like it.

Umm, being a grown up. That's what I meant.

The whole process involved me leaving a very long and detailed message on NCF's machine, and a very nice man calling me back and giving me very detailed instructions . It took a page for me to write them down. It now strikes me as very odd that my ISP did not EMAIL ME with the detailed list of instructions on how to reconfigure the channel on my modem.

Which I did quite handily with the very detailed instructions. And got on channel 1. Did not work. Got on channel 2. The bastard OS told me that the bastard modem had connected me to the bastard internet. I disconnected the wire from my computer. Breath. Still on the internet. Sigh. It worked!

And then it didn't.

I got wired up to the modem again, got back online, and wouldn't you know that the server hosting the site that allowed me to reconfigure the bastard modem was kaput.

For days.

I finally got back into the bastard modem yesterday, and switched to Channel 11. It worked!

And then it didn't.

I shut down the computer and went to the kitchen and tried to pretend that the internet was a spider, and so therefore did not exist.

Tonight, I unplugged my modem, plugged it back in again and fired the computer up. I was automatically online.

It worked! With no effort on my part! Breath. Working! Breath. Actually working!

I think anyway.

I just noticed the light went from orange to black, and that can't be good.

And also, maybe I am actually connected through the wire and the bastard OS is lying to me. I am too superstitious to take the wire out. I'm not sure I've got the kind of chutzpah it will take to find out.

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