Monday, July 31, 2006

Bat Schema

As you can tell, I am thinking almost exclusively about bats these days. This much thought has allowed me to develop what I consider to be a fairly thorough Bat Schema.


* Leave basement door closed. This heads-off presents from a proud, and possibly now rabid, cat.

* Stuff old sheet into the crack between the floor and the door. Put heaviest boots on top of sheet to make it harder, but in no way impossible, for the currently not-rabid Freya to pull it out.


* Build up courage to open the basement door.

* Take laundry to Grace's because the courage just won't be built.


* Just prior to going to bed, perform door/sheet/boot rite.

* Ensure eye-glasses are on bedtable. Ensure robe is on its proper hook.

* Try to sleep.


* Sleep badly, frequently jerking awake with a shot of adrenaline at non-bat related sounds.

* Wake up raring for action the first time a bat thunks into the basement door.

* Put on glasses, robe.

* Turn on kitchen light.

* Open all front doors, so the sweet night air tempts the rodent.

* Turn on vestibule light, so rodent can see where the night air is coming from.

* Dismantle boot/sheet/door barricade.

* Whip open basement door.

* Cower behind door for a few moments.

* Crawl down the hall to the doorway of the living room.

* Wait for the bat.

* Wait for the bat.

* Fix the front door knob, which inexplicably broke this week. (Best done at 3:43 am.)

* Give up on bat and reassemble barricade.

* Try to sleep.

* Sleep badly.

* Repeat as necessary.

1 comment:

David Scrimshaw said...

I empathize with your bat situation. I also get bat visitors several times a year. [Photo of one such visitor here.]

Like yours, my bat schema involves putting on clothing before anything else. I also have a pair of thick winter work gloves for dealing with them.

I used to go with the opening a window and trying to guide them outside, but the last six bats wouldn't go for that option.

So I've been capturing them in various ways. A mid-air grab with a big sack is the most dramatic, but I really don't like it when they bump my head while flying past.

My grade 13 biology teacher said that their built-in sonar would prevent them from touching you, but he was misinformed.

Just now by following a link on Mag Ruffman's blog I came across instructions on making a bat house. Maybe this would be the way for us to go.